The story of stone, scissors and cloth.
stone, scissors, cloth, talking cat, banana spirit
paper, Cat-ee, Darian, Ying Gu, Mao-fan, rubber
goddess, Loobit, Jeff, Tianlong, Babu, Zhou Bo Tong,
durian spirit, Rock, blackhole.
Once upon a time, there was a pair of scissors who lived by the
sea. He had to constantly make sure that the sea-spray doesn't
rust him. In fact, he found it such a chore that he decided to end
his life...problem is: a pair of scissors can't die!
So he decided to get an accomplice to help him. He saw stone on
the sand, who was looking lonely and bored. "Hey stoney...! How I
wish I were you, no matter what size you are, how many holes you
have, you are always a STONE. Best of all, you do not need to
prevent irritating rust from growing on you....." smiled the scissors
to the stone. The stone lifted an eye, took a look at the pair of
scissors, and continued stoning again. "Hey, I am talking to you!",
the scissors shouted.
Sigh...but then again, what can u expect from a STONE?! Oh well, he
thought to himself...maybe I should go find Cloth and employ his
help. Then perhaps he can come up with an idea to scare Stone, say
threatening to wrap him up, and perhaps Stone will be forced to help
me commit suicide!
Happily, he set off, in search of Cloth. Cloth, hearing rumours that
scissors is coming, felt threatened. After all, scissors was known
for his ying-xianness. So he decided to enlist the help of Loobit and
Cat-ee, who were currently in a deep slumber in the land of yuan-de-
pu-na-na, recovering from their fight with Jeff and Tian Long and Ba
Cloth xin bian qian shan wan shui to the land of yuan-de-bu-na-na but
he was utterly disappointed, because all that was there were bananas!
Just as he was feeling dejected, he decided to go back to where he
belonged, and hopefully fight scissors himself. At that very moment
he saw a fat, yellow cat..."meow...whoare u looking for?" Cloth was
really surprised to hear a cat talk, and he expressed himself frankly,
"Whoa! This is the first time I've heard a cat talk!" Obviously
the cat wasn't too impressed by his statement, and it replied, "Yea,
and this is also the first time I've seen a piece of cloth makr any
sort of noise...and I thought they lacked vocal ability!"
Cloth, knowing that he had incurred the warpath of the cat, hurriedly
changed the topic and got straight to the point -- that he was look-
ing for Loo-bit and Cat-ee. At the very mention of these 2 pwerful
creatures, the cat trembled, and squeaked, "How do u know them? They
were the most powerful poeple in the land of yuan-de-bu-neng-na until
the banana spirit took them by surprise while they were recovering
from their historical fight with Jeff, Tianlong and Babu! She used
her 2000 years of power to trap them inside a banana tree, killed off
all forms of civilisation (except cats, yeah!)...that's why I'm
yellow...from eating too much bananas..."
Who is this banana spirit? Cloth thought. To avoid being trapped by
her, Cloth left quickly to find his cousin Paper from the land of
Rubber Tress as Paper also got his power from rubber trees. Besides
paper is an enemy of scissors. He should be able to help him.
Reaching the land of Rubber Trees, Cloth found at the customs...
nobody else but Cat-ee!! Cat-ee explained years back, the Goddess of
Rubber Trees has won the battle of the Rubber-Banana and successfully
captured Cat-ee and Loobit to be her left-hand and right-hand men!!
So she put Cat-ee at the customs of the Land of Rubber Trees as the
customs officer, and Loobit at the rubber plantations as the overall-
in-charge Rubber Tapper.
Meanwhile, stone is not going to just stone around and let scissors
and cloth get to him! He went in search of his own khakis, and soon
find Darian. Apparently, Darian had went to study under the Durian
spirit, bu it too was defeated by the Rubber Goddess. So Darian went
to find another shifu...Ying Gu. But Darian started calling Ying Gu
goo goo and got her annoyed. So Ying Gu sent Darian to go find Zhou
Bo Tong. After Darian xing bian qian shan wan shui, he did not find
Zhou Bo Tong but bumped into stone. Stone immediately asked Darian to
go beat up scissors and Cloth, while agreeing to find Zhou Bo Tong
Being a rash person, Darian couldn't wait but speed off in search of
scissors and Cloth at the speed of light. After travelling 3 x 10^8
metres, he stopped. He realised that he cannot possibly find BOTH
scissors and Cloth at one time! He stopped at where he was and started
thinking of which to go after first... He think and he thought...and
he got so very confused that he went berserk. He called himself
Confucious and started going around saying "scissors? ... or Cloth?
..." to anyone he sees.
Meanwhile, stone did not have the slightest idea where Zhou Bo Tong
could be. but he decided to start walking in the direction of the
Northern Star until he bumps into Zhou Bo Tong. Stone was really keem
about looking for Zhou Bo Tong, not knowing that Darian was actually
not after his enemies at all...
It started raining cats and dogs. Stone had to look for a place to
shelter himself before he disintegrates (he's a limestone, by the
way). However, before he could find any place to stay for the night,
he encountered another problem -- it WAS raining CATS and dogs!!! Cats
started appearing everywhere! Help! The evil creatures were carriers
of (censored) diseases, and stone had to run for his life! Run and
pant...run and pant...finally, he stopped and thought -- why am i
unning? I'm not alive, so how can I get infected by all these dieseases?
With that, he smiled to himself, and stopped hurrying...the cats
caught up with him. Indeed, they couldn't inflict him with any of the
diseases, but they could EAT HIMUP!!! Which was just what the biggest
and fattest cat did..Mao-fan opened his enormous mouth, baring all his
sharp teeth, not forgetting to emit some of his bad breadth, licked
his lips and gobbled stone up!
It was a bad move for Mao-fan...now he's really got Ma-fan...the acid
in his stomach started reacting with the calcium carbonate in Stone,
giving him the most horrible tummy upset he can ever imagine! Ying
Gu, who has supernatural powers, knew of this incident, and popped
her champagne bottle to celebrate the torture of Mao-fan, who had
previously offended her by sneaking into her shopping bag and stealing
Ying Gu's open show of hatred for cats isn't very smart. Suddenly Cat-
ee appeared on the scene with Cloth, an army of 10,000 cats and a jing
gu pang from the Rubber Goddess. Apparently, Cat-ee had agreed to help
Cloth, and in return Cloth agreed to help teach Ying Gu a lesson for
being so cruel to the cats. So Cloth transformed himself into the ding
qiang zhi wu that Zhou Bo Tong gave to Ying Gu. Upon seeing that, Ying
Gu broke down and forgot all her supernatural powers. Cat-ee ordered
the cats forward and Ying Gu was soon surrounded by 10,000 cats. In
desperation Ying Gu turned herself into a cat!
So by disguising herself into a cat she managed to escape. But she
forgot the spell to change back into herself again and is doomed to
spend 10,000 years as a cat. Cat-ee laughs with satisfaction.
Meanwhile, Scissors felt extremely remorseful for upsetting the World's
peace. It knew that all the chaotic happenings were caused by
itself. It didn't want to be a selfish pair of scissors...so it decided
to go to Rock and commit suicide by running into it at full speed.
"This would definitely break me into 2" Scissors thought. But Scissors
did not want to alarm Rock or anyone else, for fear of creating more
trouble, so he went to find Rock on his own. No one knew of its plan
But Rock thought that scissors is coming to kill him. So he goes into
hiding, not wanting to be found by scissors while at the same time
hatching plans to destroy scissors. Scissors zou bian tian ya hai
jiao but couldn't find Rock. He comes back to the sea to reflect on
his life. Suddenly, he discovered the reason for his sadness and why
he wants to kill himself...he has always an lian rock, but rock is
too stone to notice him! Scissors started calling rock a fu xin shi
and started singing
"gei wo yi bei wang qing shui,
huan wo yi ye bu liu lei,
zuo you zhen xin zhen yi,
ren ta yu da feng chui,
fu chu de ai shou bu hui..."
ahh, qing shi he wu??!!
AFTER HEARING THE HORIBLE SINGING OF SCISSORS ALL THE PEOPLE
IN THE WORLD ALL DIED HORRIBLY. THE WHOLE UNIVERSE ALSO
EXPLODED AND VANISHED IN A MILLISECOND TIME. ALL OF WHAT WAS
KNOWN AS CIVILISATION DISAPPEARED AS IF IT WAS SUCKED INTO A
BLACKHOLE, NEVER TO BE REVIVED AGAIN.